[ That's how he can make up for it. By not tricking her into something she'll regret later. And no matter how hard it is, if he's telling the truth, and this is for the right reasons - then she won't regret it. ]
[There's a flicker of concern, hesitation, uncertainty. But beneath it, the thread of determination that had been there before rises up stronger. He tries to catch some of the scraps of hope Escha had shown. At the very least, he won't give up here. Not like this, not with things like this.]
[ The despair has always been there, an undercurrent, but it ebbs forward like a wave. It's a helplessness and it drags up her desperation to be useful. Her insecurities and frustrations with herself. And a numbing, hollowing sort of loneliness. ]
Please, just... Don't keep me from helping just because things are difficult. Don't shut me out from being useful.
[A beat; he's quiet for a second, and then he moves so instead of resting his fingertips against hers, he's holding her hand. Just long enough to give it one gentle squeeze.]
I know it feels terrible when everything is happening around you and you feel useless.
[Haha!! BOY DOES HE. There's a surge of empathy, in response to that desperation. Understanding, even if it's the aching sort that he wouldn't ever wish on anyone.]
...I won't - do that to you. I won't shut you out or leave you on your own.
[He manages a smile, though it's a little more brittle than usual. After another second or two, he'll let his grip drop. She can move to take her hand away at any time, though he'll let her go first, rather than being the first to go as usual.]
When this is all over, I'll do everything I wish I could do now.
[ She keeps her hand up for a moment, not wanting to pull away the second he does. That would be rude? And might send a much worse message than she means. ]
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[ That's how he can make up for it. By not tricking her into something she'll regret later. And no matter how hard it is, if he's telling the truth, and this is for the right reasons - then she won't regret it. ]
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It's the least I owe you.
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[ The despair has always been there, an undercurrent, but it ebbs forward like a wave. It's a helplessness and it drags up her desperation to be useful. Her insecurities and frustrations with herself. And a numbing, hollowing sort of loneliness. ]
Please, just... Don't keep me from helping just because things are difficult. Don't shut me out from being useful.
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I know it feels terrible when everything is happening around you and you feel useless.
[Haha!! BOY DOES HE. There's a surge of empathy, in response to that desperation. Understanding, even if it's the aching sort that he wouldn't ever wish on anyone.]
...I won't - do that to you. I won't shut you out or leave you on your own.
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Okay.
[ She takes a deep breath. ]
... Okay.
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When this is all over, I'll do everything I wish I could do now.
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Okay. I'm holding you to that.
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Mm. I won't let you down.