Not Again | Catch All for Lili

[applechemist]

shitpost someday maybe

Comments

[coastal]

Oh, so you can lecture other people about leaning on others and accepting help, but you can't ask for help yourself?

[applechemist]

My job is to help people. It's different.

[coastal]

It really isn't.

I'm nobility - my duty is to serve others.

Does that mean I'm free from you telling me I deserve help now?

[applechemist]

No!

[ what a blunt answer. but no, you can't escape her lectures. ]

It's - it's not like I never rely on anyone for help. I ask for help with small stuff.

[coastal]

That's hypocritical.

[just. bluntly right back!!!]

If you don't listen to your own advice, how am I supposed to take it? That's so two-faced...

[applechemist]

Am I two-faced...? Maybe I'm just two-faced...

[coastal]

[she just... sighs.]

... that might be a cruel word for it.

[she can acknowledge that escha is a nice person and probably doesn't deserve to be called two-faced.]

But it is a bit dishonest of you. It makes you a lot harder to believe if you'll tell people one thing but practice another so blatantly.

A lot of people care about you, you know. I'm sure they want to help you with things that aren't just... small.

[applechemist]

[ she looks ready to argue, sort of leaning forward like she's about to. but then just... gives up, instead. ]

... I don't think you're wrong.

There are just limits. That's all.

[coastal]

... why do you keep holding yourself back?

I'm not going to be offended if you disagree with me. I'd rather you be honest about your thoughts than nice.

[it's actually kind of hard to offend her on a personal level?]

[applechemist]

Because I don't want people to think they can't come to me for help.

If people are too focused on protecting me or too worried about me... [ she shakes her head. ] I just want to reach the level of being equals with the people here.

[coastal]

[ . . . . there is so much here that lili is having a hard time understanding. because she recognizes the words. she knows what it's like, to want to be seen as an equal rather than someone to be protected. she had to fight so hard to get that, and even now she overcompensates, maybe.

is that what escha is doing?]

... have there been times here when people still don't treat you like an equal?

[applechemist]

... It's just a feeling I get?

[coastal]

[ . . . ]

I think you're getting in your own way?

[applechemist]

... Maybe.

[ she's not going to argue this much further with Lili, who she barely knows. :( ]

[coastal]

[which is fair enough and unfortunately lili is too awkward to initiate a genuine attempt at friendship]

.... well, good luck with it.

I hope you find whatever answer you're looking for.