Not Again | Catch All for Lili

[applechemist]

shitpost someday maybe

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[applechemist]

[ Escha just nods, because. Confirming things is dangerous. ]

I think that even though it's hard, it's better to have your emotions in tact. But... Two people's worth seems like a lot to handle for so long. Longer than just when you're touching...

[coastal]

[ . . . . . . ]

I was breaking down so... doing that was probably more effective than -

Letting everyone worry over me.

[she can understand the choice.]

[applechemist]

It wasn't about stopping people from worrying. People should worry about you when you're upset, and I don't care how much time it takes up. Being effective isn't...

[ ... ]

I just... Didn't like seeing you suffer like that...

[coastal]

[ . . . . she shakes her head.]

Escha, don't say anything more if you don't want to. You owe me nothing.

[applechemist]

I don't know about that. Don't we all owe you?

You've done a lot and gotten us a lot of information.

[coastal]

[she shakes her head at that.]

.... it's because it's the right thing to do.

That doesn't put any of you in my debt. It's something that I would be doing regardless, because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I stayed still.

[applechemist]

Why is it the right thing to do for you to help others, but not for others to help you?

[coastal]

[wow great question.

she looks like she's thinking about it but.]

.... I'm just not used to receiving help either, I suppose.

[applechemist]

That's probably why you're so efficient to begin with.

[coastal]

[ . . . there's just a little huff.]

... I had attendants?

Back home. They were both very effective, and very beautiful. They would sometimes stop me from being reckless, but... they would let me do what I thought was needed.

I think I just boss people around the same way.

[applechemist]

[ Escha laughs weakly. ]

You sound like my boss.

[coastal]

... so you're used to cleaning up after people's messes, huh?

[she sounds tired but

at least it's in good humor]

[applechemist]

I don't consider it that way, no.

[ but also: yes? ]

[coastal]

That's probably because you're a nice person.

[applechemist]

[ Escha's smile goes a little... Vacant. ]

I wonder about that.

[coastal]

[ . . . . hm?]

... Escha?

[applechemist]

[ Escha shakes her head. Haha, just some fun casual self-loathing! ]

... It's nothing. Today has just been... A lot, that's all.

[coastal]

[STOP]

... you and Flayn both do this...

Are you sure you're alright? I don't tolerate lies or half-truths.

[applechemist]

[ ... Escha's tail sticks up! ]

I'm alright.

Feeling a little insecure, but it doesn't have to be something that worries you...!

[ she has decided to take the Direct Approach. ]

[coastal]

[the Direct Approach is the best one with lili, who slams into things with all the finesse of a wild boar]

What're you insecure over?

[applechemist]

[ ... ]

I guess just... How useful I am?

[coastal]

... you and Flayn really both fixate over the same thing.

[ . . . ]

What gives you the impression that you're not useful? You help wherever you can, don't you?

[applechemist]

[ Escha nods... slowly...

but does not look at all comforted by that. ]

[coastal]

[ . . . . ]

You want results, right?

[she can... understand. empathize.]

... yeah. I want results from me too.

[applechemist]

I think it's more like...

I want proof that I'm doing the right thing. I don't mind if it takes a long, long time to see any results. If I could just know that I'm on the right path.